How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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