I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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