Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
