I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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