i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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