would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
