I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
