Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
They have beer where we have blood.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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