threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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