My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
