This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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