I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
pop tarts are not kleenex
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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