did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
