You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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