South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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