so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
