evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
