If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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