so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
