i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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