I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
