Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
