make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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