If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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