I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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