The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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