you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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