I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's shark week go big or go home
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
