heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize