p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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