That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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