take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
