Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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