What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
