Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
