My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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