my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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