I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
