obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
