i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
