A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
