Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
