Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You pole danced in your parka.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love you. Go after that dick
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
