my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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