If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize