I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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