I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
