What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
