and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize