I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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