Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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