i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Farmville is her only friend.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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