He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
