Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
