This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
A+ Viking dick
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize