you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
