And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
