Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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