I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I came so hard my ears popped.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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