HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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