I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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